PRIDE
Over the past few weeks I’ve had the opportunity to interact with some amazing people. It started when a friend and I met up for a bagel at our favorite place far away from the mainstream. It was a Thursday at 10:00am and we expected to have the little neighborhood joint mostly to ourselves. When I arrived my friend had snagged the last table and was waiting on me to order, which we promptly did. I was disappointed because they were out of my favorite flavor, salt. Uh huh, if you havent tried a salt bagel, you’re missing out! I settled for an asiago bagel with cream cheese, tomato and red onion. Mmmm good!
As we waited with the masses, I mean like 10+ people were waiting for to go orders and all the tables were full and waiting (another 10+ people) for food. Where did these folks come from and why weren’t they at work so we could have the place to ourselves? It was then I noticed an elderly woman with a cane attempting to open the door. Another patron helped her with the door and she made her way to the counter and ordered. Afterwards she took up a standing room only position near the coffee prep bar. She stood there with her coffee mug searching for an available seat, looking a little hunched and tilted. I noticed a guy sitting at a two top on his phone, he was waiting for a to go order, but he never looked up or didn’t care that she might need a seat. So, without mentioning it to my friend, I spoke up and offered the woman our table . When my friend realized what I’d done, she again offered our table; the woman refused. So my friend instead insisted the woman come and join us since we had an extra chair.
To be honest, I was a little disappointed at having an interloper; concerned we’d struggle to have conversation, and our meet up would be awkward. To my surprise the morning was a beautiful exchange of conversation between two 50 somethings and a 94 year old woman who was still independent, witty, curious and connected to all that’s going on everywhere. Turns out, she’s the publisher or a well known local newspaper.
That brings me to last Saturday, the day I showcased True North Fly Fishing to the LGBTQ community at the EugPride Festival. Representation and inclusion are important in helping us all better realize who and what we can become. And we know that minority/marginalized groups are still underserved by mainstream organizations. Not to say that my tiny little fly fishing guide business is mainstream, but fly fishing is, albeit, it’s a tiny percentage of the overall fishing industry. As both a woman, and a gay woman at that, it’s been hard at times to break into the field. Sometimes it was just the fear of being rejected, at other times it was the fear of physical harm. By that I mean going into a male dominated business and asking for information and also being alone in the outdoors and being vulnerable.
Because of those fears, I wanted to represent to others that there are safe spaces for all of us to enter the arena of flyfishing. I wanted to be that person others can see and say to themselves, “She looks like me.” and, “Look what she’s doing, I want to do it, too.” I can check the boxes for woman, gay, and in my 50’s. If I can do it, so can you!
There are still times I feel vulnerable in a fly shop or out on the river, but at my age I’m not giving into the fear anymore. Yes, I’m cautious but I also know my mental and physical limits and hover on the edge of pushing my limits these days. I’m holding my own space and at the same time as trying to create space for others to experience the healing properties of nature and the joy of fish and water.
I really enjoyed meeting Anita at the bagel shop. She showed me that you can age gracefully, maintain your independence and still hold meaningful conversation with the younger generation. She gave me hope that I wont be an “old grandma” to my grandkids, instead a hip cool woman who keeps them on their toes. I also enjoyed meeting and talking to all the amazingly unique people who stopped by my booth at EugPride to chat about fly fishing. I really liked all the, “Oh, fly fishing! I’ve always wanted to try that.” comments. Yes, you can try it, you can be awesome at it and I welcome you. I know my allies in the local fly fishing community would also love to get to know you and help you feel safe and welcome.
I can’t wait to meet you at a fly casting lesson or take you out to the river to dip your rainbow colored toenails into the water while fishing for beautiful trout.
